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Your Tewksbury Today

Confessions of a Divorced Dad, Redux

Jun 02, 2014 05:07AM ● By Bill Gilman

Your Tewksbury Today Publisher Bill Gilman and his youngest son, KJ.

This column was originally published as a blog post on Tewksbury Patch in 2013. I am re-posting my first few articles in the series for the benefit of those who may have missed them the first time around. Then I will continue the series moving forward.

Back in 1995, my wife and I decided to split up after eight years of marriage. Our sons, Pat and KJ, were 4 and 2 at the time.
For the past 18 years, I've been classified, demographically, as a "Divorced Dad."
I've made more than my fair share of mistakes along the way. But I'd also like to think I've learned quite a bit about myself, my children, my ex-wife and how to make challenging life circumstance work for my family.
These days my boys are 22 and 20, in college and in relationships with lovely young women. I couldn't be more proud of them both.
In this blog, which I'm intending to post weekly, I'm going to try and share some of the things I've learned along the way. My hope is that young men and women who might find themselves going through one of the most emotionally trying periods of their lives, might find one or two nuggets of information or wisdom that might make things just a little bit easier.
I'll be tackling topics ranging from "The Split Up" to "Custody and Visitation" to "Dating" to "Us vs. Them" to "Getting along With Your Ex" and everything in between.
But if you have a specific topic or question that you'd like me to address, just email me at and I'll be more than glad to use it in this blog. And don't worry, anonymity is respected.
If there will be a common theme to this blog it will be this: "It ain't about you! And it ain't about her! It's about your children and how to make their world as stable and loving and safe as possible."
So there you have it. Every week I'll be laying bare a little piece of my life and my soul. I hope you find this blog useful and maybe even a little entertaining.
And until next week ... tell your kids you love them.
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